today, i really fucked up. i Shenntyara, have failed to be a daughter for my mother.

it only took a blue fish stamp on my left hand and 16 years of living, to disappoint my mother so much that in her eyes, i am nothing more than a big fat bundle f lies and deceit. yes, i deceived her. i lied to my pregnant mother about not having an one week holiday.

the thing that fucked everything up? she found out. i don't know how, or who told her. but she found out. and now, i live like a fucking prisoner to my own family. no more friends, no more skating, no more going out, no more birthdays, no more anything. to still be allowed to breathe, is a privilege i am grateful of.